What is Domestic Violence?

Information provided by the Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence, 2007

Domestic Violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often with the threat or use of violence. Domestic Violence is a crime.

Abusive behaviors are not symptoms that someone is angry or out of control. An abuser makes a choice to exert power and control over his or her partner. Abusive behaviors include physical, emotional, sexual, social, and financial abuse. These behavior are described in detail below.

Physical abuse often begins with less violent assaults such as pushing. As the abuse continues, however, it becomes increasingly violent. Abusers often target areas of the body that are usually covered with clothing because the injuries are less likely to be visible to others. Acts of physical abuse include:

Pushing
Restraining
Shaking
Slapping
Biting
Punching
Kicking
Throwing objects at the victim
Target hitting
Sustained beating
Abuse planned to cause the victim to miscarry
Using weapons
Strangulation
Homicide

Emotional abuse is a tool used by those who want to make their partners feel scared, crazy, worthless, or responsible for the abuse. The abuser's goal is control over the victim. Emotional abuse may include:

Making jokes about the victim
Insults
Criticizing the victim's competence
Ignoring the victim's feelings
Withholding affection as a form of punishment
Blaming the victim for all problems
Yelling at the victim
Humiliating the victim in front of others
Accusing the victim of being the abusive partner
Threatening to take the children away from the victim
Threatening physical violence
Threatening suicide to punish the victim

Sexual abuse is one of the least discussed, but most common, forms of domestic violence. Sexual abuse includes:

Sexual jokes that make the victim uncomfortable
Treating women as sex objects
Criticizing the victim's sexuality
Using sexual jealousy as a tool of control
Uncomfortable or unwanted touch
Withholding sex as punishment
Demanding sex
Flaunting affairs
Rape
Sex after beatings
Forcing the victim to witness or participate in sexual activity with others
Sexually assaulting the victim in front of the children
Sexual torture

Social abuse is used to isolate the victim from others in the community. The fewer people the victim is connected with, the more control the abuser has over the victim. Examples of social abuse include:

Insisting that the couple spend all time together
Discouraging the victim from seeing friends or family
Forbidding the victim to see friends or family
Monitoring the victim's mail or phone calls
Checking the odometer
Restricting access to the car or car keys
Telling others the victim is crazy or abusive

What is Domestic Violence?

Physical Abuse

Emotional Abuse

Sexual Abuse

Social Abuse

Financial Abuse